mama needs a new bike

So this is a bit venal, but I really want this bike - it was love at first sight, much like me and the baby (eew, I know, but it's true). Madsen is giving away one bike a week, and posting a link to their site is one way to enter. So don't do this with your own blog unless you plan to give me and my good cause the bike when you win.

indelibly moved on this new day

Today will leave a mark. Everett, Josh and I took seats at the Grounds coffee shop in the West End to watch and listen to the inauguration of the first president that felt like it mattered who sat in that ovalest of offices.

Surrounded by neighbors and even a few friends, Everett slept while I kept the tears at bay by smiling like a big ninny.

Somehow we all felt proud, despite, or because of, our disparate roles in making today possible. I know my part was tiny, but I took part nonetheless.

baby-made magic

something magical happened to me recently.

I knew it was coming - you could even say I'd made it happen. but it caught me unawares in the intensity of it, the smallness, the sweetness, the aww of it. suddenly every storyline in every sappy movie that involved a baby - oh, a baby... - had me cooing like a pigeon. every sticky little mitten, each formerly sacharine-sounding word to describe these creatures was suddenly capable of reducing me to a pile of goo. "precious," "angel," "pumpkin pie" (that was the night nurse's way of not learning any babies' names: "and how are mommy and daddy and little pumkin' pie?" she'd ask at 3 am...)

it's been quite a ride, and it's just getting started, and I'm loving it so deeply. I think irony is dead, at least on this blog, at least for the time being.

hapiness is

a full, dry, clean, sleeping baby on your chest.
a quiet house on a sunny day after the bit of tiny laundry is folded.
Fleeting.
but fleeting the way the sun flits behind clouds momentarily - you never truly doubt its return.

Baby likes to dance

Last night I met up with a friend who is a salsa instructor at a ballroom she frequents. Doesn't that sound so old fashioned and elegant? There was no smoke, no alcohol, no meat market. It was the perfect dance club for someone in my condition.

And baby likes to dance. In fact, it's how he wakes me up every morning. He's worse than a dog, I swear. What is it he's doing in there anyway? It feels like he's tripping the limited womb-light fantastic, or trying to stand on his head. Very strange, this fluttering, poking, water balloon on my organs feeling.

I like to interpret his movements. If someone is doing something to annoy me, and baby kicks, that means he's on my side. If I'm having a great time and baby kicks, he likes the same things I do. If I'm sad and baby kicks, he's agreeing that the world is can be a messed up place, but also assuring me he's ready to come out and make some changes.

Being a creature of the internet age, I turn to youtube and wikipedia in my time of wondering. "Fetal movement" calls up 46 results of pregnant bellies. I don't need to see these, but it's somehow reassuring that 46 people found this amazing enough to go to the trouble of filming it and posting to youtube. Wikipedia was more enlightening, describing the quaint notion of quickening and the more modern conception of fetal movement:

By about week 21, the fetus begins to develop a regular schedule of movement.^[13] The startle reflex is present in half of all fetuses by week 24 and in all fetuses by week 28.^[15]

I noticed the startle reflex last week. I was riding home from work, pedaling through Castleberry Hill on Peter Street, when a car decided not to pull out suddenly from a side street without bothering to stop first. This happens often at that particular intersection, so I'm usually prepared, but that night I was distracted. As my hand flew out to get the driver's attention and my heart flew into my throat, baby took a dive to the left, away from the car. Only 21 weeks and already he has the reflexes of a much younger man.

In later pregnancy, a complex motion called "stepping" develops. This movement consists of circular "bicycling" motion of legs, which helps the fetus move to a head-down position in preparation for birth.^[11]

BICYCLING! I knew this kid was mine.

Easy makes 420

Last night's Critical Mass was the largest ever in Atlanta, after an AJC article yesterday brought them out of the woodwork.

Angel (he of the green dress and rollerblades) counted 419. I told him to make that 420.

Josh celebrated by having a couple of 420s while I watched, sipping my lemonade longingly.

I learned my lesson - almost got jumped last week for just holding a beer for the girl seated next to me at the opening Atlanta Dream game.

Great seats, by the way - baby loves womens' basketball already - he was jumping around and cheering inside. I think I'm having cheerleader. Josh will be so proud.

naming names

We do have a name picked out, and we're not telling, so don't ask :-)

I learned this from my sister - when I wouldn't tell what names we were considering, she said, "When I have a baby, I'm going to name it Luke!" This elicited a round of boos from our loving family, proving me right.

I love our name, though. It's got just the right old fashioned, solid ring to it. Josh will probably nickname him immediately though, which takes some of the pressure off.

For now, just call him Easy E. The solo version. I'm hoping this will influence him to be easy to birth.